Colleen's Blog

Eliminate all "Shoulds" from your life. Be Kind to Self, Part II

Colleen Troy - Thursday, June 23, 2011
Should I worry if my child doesn't seem to engage well with other kids?
I should deal with this credit card debt.
Should I stay or should I go?
I should call my brother and tell him I'm sorry.


Short and sweet.... the word "should" no longer needs to be in our vocabularyHere's my take:

  • This word is all about passive/aggressive energy. YUK. 
  • does not uncover truths
  • ultimately ambiguous; that's messy business

 

My case rests in this final question:  Whose "should" is it?  Is it your mother talking?  Is the moral majority speaking for you?  Cause I'm telling you right now you don't own what you mean when you use the word "should." 

Told Husband I was banning this word and why.  In the days following our conversation, he found himself stumbling over the word every time it came to his lips.  Same thing happened to me when I became conscious of my choice of this word.  Sputtered and stammered to come up with a replacement word.  (go ahead, try it).
Truth be told I wasn't saying what I really meant and how I really felt.  I was being evasive.  uh huh. 

Suggestion:  When you utter the word "should"; stop; breathe; ask yourself what you really mean to say and own it.
 
Carry forth and do be kind to yourself.


 


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