Colleen's Blog

Scootch, Scootch, Stall

Colleen Troy - Wednesday, April 25, 2012
"That's me, trying to make any progress at all with family, in work,
relationships, self-image:
scootch, scootch, stall;
scootch, stall, catastrophic reversal;
bog, bog, scootch."
Anne Lamott

Belly laughter and Anne Lamott go hand in hand simply because her writing hits the nail so fully on the head. (And she's been known to use the word "ixnay.") This scootching dynamic, explained so well by Anne, is exactly what I experience at times as a solo entreprenuer, especially with perfectionistic tendencies hovering about.

The part of this cycle that's full of agony is the "stalling" phase. Quite often, this is the phase that we can settle into, befriend, in a creepy sort of way. This I know. I get it! No action and a whole lot of self-doubt is a set-up for stalling. Stalling happens when comparing a decision with what others say or think or do that looks different than my own. Stalling keeps us in the dark and away from life. Agony happens when we exist in the stalling phase for what feels like forever.

Take time today to pause and consider where in your life you have stalled out? What's going on? Where are you doubting yourself? Did it start with criticism from the outside world?

Oh yeah, pausing to reflect on a situation is not at all the same thing as stalling. Stalling is one of those annoying habits we cling to. And clinging, god love us, is graspy and unsuitable for growth. We welcome pausing, then move on.

Scootching is actually healthy. Scootching might be slow, messy, tentative, but it's action. And taking action is living. Add this to your list of "to-do's" for gentle self-care. And by all means, pick up a book by Anne Lamott and laugh or cry till your belly hurts.

 

How to tame the "Caught and Fraught Cycle of Indecision."

Colleen Troy - Monday, April 09, 2012

I've been there.  You've been there.  From the smallest of decisions like "what brand of toilet paper to buy" (with or without a coupon) to "should I leave this job that pays all my bills but makes me feel crappy?"....we practice the art of making decisions constantly.  

When I work with a client who is at a loss on how to answer a question, or doesn't know what they really feel/mean, I tell them, "place your hand over your heart (or solar plexus area)."  Immediately, the person shifts into a softer, less anxious mode.  They connect with their body.  The mind, which had been in full control up to this moment, suddenly is in the back seat.  The solidity of body wisdom takes over. 

It really is that simple. The next time you find yourself fraught with anxiety over a decision, pause. Place your hand over your heart and pause some more. Focus on the sensation of your hand touching your chest; feel the pulse of your heart. Pause some more.

Go ahead, pledge allegiance to your self and wisdom of your body/soul and leave the mind behind.  The decision will be known.

Once Upon a Time, when you were six years old....

Colleen Troy - Monday, April 02, 2012

Once upon a time, when you were six years old, you were really good at these activities.....

  • summersaults over and over again in forward motion followed by attempting backwards summersaults
  • plunking on a piano as loud as you wanted
  • playing hide and seek and giggling the whole time you were hiding

This past weekend we had friends over for dinner and they brought their six-year old boy.  It's been a while since we've had six-year old energy in the house and I found him a joy.  His mind and body were completely engaged  the entire night as he went from one activity to another.

Playtime is still important for us big kids. Our social selves have gotten in the way of our playful selves and blocked out the part of us that feels free to simply be:

  • The part that doesn't care a hoot or a toot about how others see us.
  • The part of us that is curious about trying something and doesn't stop short with doubts and fears.
  • The part of us that moves towards anything that grabs our delight

Playtime = a place for your mind to be free for a while.  Don't we all need a break from our minds?

This week add playtime to your schedule.  Here's how:

1.  Cross off one (or more) activities/appointments that you don't really want to do.  Or replace a habit you spend time on like checking your email every 30 minutes with something playful. 

2.  Now pause.  Breathe.

3.  What were some of your favorite childhood games/activities?

4.  Now go.

I'm getting my bike out now to ride no-handed and I've already got a smile on my face.  Leave a comment and let me know how you played this week. 

 


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